Reality Is Just Badly Written Fiction

Meme Time

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:50:25 GMT

The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?: Jack Davenport telling me he got James D'Arcy, Alex O'Loughlin, Tom Sturridge, Cameron Diaz and all the others to turn my own fucked PotC canon into a series of 5 seasons...
When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?: Mhm
In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?: Listener... except with my closest friends and my characters...
Do you take compliments well?: *shrugs*
Do you play Sudoku?: No, I once helped my mum translate a book that was a version of Sudoku and it made me hate it with passion
If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?: Can I take Patrick?
Do you like nipple rings?: Nope
Did you ever go to camp as a kid?: I was forced bc the kindergarten ppl thought I was too close to my mum, but it was just a week
What was your favorite game as a kid?: Don't force me to coose *lower lip wobbles* I loved them aaaaaall... *iz too tired to think*
Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?: As long as no one tries to save my soul...
Do you like to pursue or be pursued?: Be pursued. Yes... please!!
Do any songs make you cry?: 'Course...
Are you continuing your education?: Yes. Ja. Oui.
Do you know how to shoot a gun?: Some of my characters do... does that count?
If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Laptop, has too many memories stored on it, photos, fics, conversations...
How often do you read books?: Often...
Do you think more about the past, present or future? Does fiction count as past? Then past...
Favorite children's book?: can't remember the title, was about 3 kittens, and my mum read it to me so many times that it completely fell apart
What color are your eyes?: sort of grey-green.blue
How tall are you?: I'm so not going to check now thank you very much...
Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?: No
Where was the furthest place you traveled today? Teaching, an hour away maybe
Do you like mustard? Yumm
Do you look like your mom or dad? I like to ignore the fact that I look a bit more like my father.
How long does it take you in the shower? Depends... if it means I can sleep longer I can be very quick, my record was 2 minutes
Can you do splits? *backs away slowly*
What movie do you want to see right now? The Boat That Rocked (because, clearly, watching it 8 times over something like two weeks wasn't enough)
What did you do for New Year's? I was with friends.
Do you think The Grudge was scary? So there's a presumption I saw it? Well, tough...
Do you own a camera phone?: No
Was your mom a cheerleader?: *falls over laughing*
What's the last letter of your middle name? S
How many hours of sleep do you get a night? anything from 3 to 12
Do you like care bears? Yeah, but I was more of a Gummy Bears and My Little Pony fan... OMG I admitted it... *runs to write angsty fic*
What do you buy at the Movies? I'm very radical... usually nothing
Do you know how to play poker? I wish I did. My characters like to play strip poker, though. It's nice to watch.
Do you wear your seatbelt?: Of course.
What do you wear to sleep? Depends, mostly boxer shorts (Mr Big, yes) with a top
Is your tongue pierced?: See for yourself *sticks out tongue*
Do you like Liver and Onion?: *backs away quickly*
Are you in love?: *happy sigh* Claudius... I'm playing Gertrud in a University production of Hamlet, I decided that counts...
Do you like funny or serious people better? Mixture of the two
Ever been to L.A.? No
Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? I won't answer this question until I spoke to my lawyer...
What do you and your parents fight about the most? University vs writing
Are you a gullible person? There are some ppl who can make me believe anything (one, actually) but I like to think it's because he's too good lol
Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? I am happy now.
If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? Acting in my favourite theatre
Are you easy to get along with? Yes
What is your favorite time of day? Sunset in the summer
Would you rather sleep alone or with someone? With someone, even if they are imaginary... *cuddles with characters*
Would you give up the one you love/care for the most to become immortal? No idea.
What animal are you most like? Sloth *giggles*
What kind of tea do you like the most? don't have one
Do you laugh at peoples' stupidity? No, I cry... :-P
Do you feel guilty for doing so after you're done laughing? No, I only feel guilty about doing this meme instead of sleeping...

Need You (Quentin/Mark)

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:23:18 GMT

Title: Need You (/Kisses, Smoke, and Silence)
Fandom: The Boat That Rocked
Characters/Pairings: Quentin/Mark, Mark/OFC implied
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 705
Summary: How Mark got on the boat. Happens about three years before the film starts. This is the first part of a sort of series that will be made out of loosely connected "deleted scenes". They are just meant as addition to the film, to certain scenes that I find intriguing, etc. And yes, they are going to be mostly about Mark.

Need You

The phone is ringing mercilessly as Mark tries to free himself of the tangle of naked limbs – 3, no, 4 pairs of long legs… interesting – with all the slowness of a Sunday morning. He presses the receiver to his ears, reluctant to open his eyes, and waits for the person on the other end to realize he has picked up. It takes a surprisingly short time.

“I’m in the lobby.”

Ah.

Mark is downstairs in less than thirty minutes, a blowjob, a cigarette, and a shower later. The receptionist casts him a half-hostile, half-longing look and he makes a mental note to find out which sentiment is stronger in the pretty blonde.

“Busy night?” the well-known voice creeps into his thoughts and as he turns around he sees Quentin, reading the paper, sitting with his legs crossed, wrapped tightly in the not quite fitting air of British aristocratic manners. He hasn’t changed at all since Mark last saw him, in fact he hasn’t changed a bit in the past 7 years since the first time a lanky Manchester boy who talked too much and got nowhere bumped into him.

Mark smiles and makes himself comfortable, sprawling on the couch in a fashion the pretty receptionist seems to find appalling, or rather appallingly erotic if that blush is anything to go by. Mark puts a cigarette between his smiling lips and lights it with a bit too much concentration for it to be natural. When he looks up again he catches the girl staring.

“Hasn’t your mother taught you not to play with your food?” Quentin asks, a hint of amusement playing in the corner of his eyes and Mark can’t help but chuckle silently.

“Missed me?” he asks teasingly, rolling his head to the side on the back of the couch, looking at Quentin with eyelids half-closed.

“Devastatingly.” It’s meant to sound like a joke, the small curl of his lips makes sure it’s not taken too seriously, but Mark can see the tiny sparkle he knows so well in Quentin’s eyes. It puts a small, short-lived smile on his face before he turns his head away again with a slow, long drag from his cigarette.

“I’ve bought a boat.”

Mark makes a low sound in the back of his throat that could just as well be eager surprise and boredom.

“Have you ever thought of going to the North Sea, Mark?”

The pretty blonde receptionist shifts in her chair, opening a button on her blouse discreetly, desperate for more air in the sudden heat as Mark blows out a lungful of smoke with deliberate slowness. Quentin barely refrains from rolling his eyes. He puts the newspaper down and straightens his back a fraction more, preparing to fight for Mark’s short attention span.

“I‘m going to conquer the hearts of millions of British men and women.”

This finally earns him a pair of sleepy eyes. So Mark hasn’t lost his sense for the dramatic either.

“A pirate radio station shaking the foundations of society. Bringing liberation to Britain. But for that,” Quentin holds a short pause. “I need you.”

Mark’s hand stops mid-air as he’s about to bring the cigarette to his lips again. A slight frown appears on his face and he cocks his head questioningly.

“Because you are the sexiest man on the planet,” Quentin says with just a hint too much honesty under the lightness of their age-old shared joke.

Mark looks away again, watching the receptionist, who is now openly flirting with him, but his thoughtful look tells Quentin his mind is somewhere else, thinking over the offer. The cigarette is slowly burning away, smoke dancing in the air teasingly. And then suddenly Mark gets up without saying a word, stands next to Quentin’s couch and leans down, placing a soft, firm kiss on his lips.

It’s over before Quentin’s mind can even truly process the sensation and a moment later Mark is gone, walking up to the pretty receptionist who is quite obviously going to get in trouble later for skipping work to get shagged by one of the hotel’s guests. Quentin shakes his head fondly, resisting the urge to lick his lips, tasting the sweet bitterness of Mark’s decision.

Meme Time

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:34:54 GMT

Pirated from cupidandpsycho

Name a character and I'll tell you three (or more) facts about them from my own personal pseudo-canon.

From Dusk to Dawn (Chapter 2)

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:17:43 GMT

Title: Road Trip (The Arrival)
Characters: Cutler Beckett, Prudence Beckett, Patrick MacHeath, Mercer, slight mentions of Will/Elizabeth, Governor Swann
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 843
Summary: Lord Beckett and his wife travel to the Caribbean to deal with the pirate threat but this journey will change their lives and that of the people around them forever.

Prologue
Chapter 1 ~ Midnight Drinks (Negotiations)

Road Trip

The White Hawk barely stirred excitement as it laid anchor closely following the huge, pompous ship specially commissioned by the Governor as a wedding gift for his daughter to take the newlywed couple on their honeymoon back to England for the necessary social visits. All of Port Royal was present as the heavy lady elegantly floated into the harbour and was christened Flightless Sparrow by the happily smiling bride and her awkward but proud fiancé.

Some eyes were filled with joyful tears in the light of their love, some looked sceptical, others envious, and no one saw the elegantly dressed couple stepping out of the airless confines of the smaller, faster White Hawk. They stepped into the black carriage waiting for them right under everyone’s nose, yet unnoticed, just like the man who had arranged their arrival had predicted.

The steep, dusty slope surrounded by rich vegetation leading up to the heavy, old house was just as Cutler Beckett remembered and he angrily closed the dark curtain on the small window, shutting out memories of the youth he had thought to have left behind forever. The unexpected movement earned him a questioningly raised eyebrow from his companion which he simply ignored as silence settled on them.

He shouldn’t have returned.

Even without seeing the well known trees he could tell, just by the familiar bumps of the road when they took the last curve and he knew the mansion would be clearly visible now. Dark, silent, haunted. The house his mother had always hated so much, the house his father had abused for his whoring, the house that would be home to him and Prudence from now on.

He waited for Mercer to get down from beside the driver and open the door for him when the carriage stopped at the entrance. Getting out, he looked challengingly into the eyes of the grand mansion and only when the old building quivered into obedience did he turn to the servants lined up to greet their new master and his beautiful wife.

Some of them he knew from before, loyal servants from the old days. Eugene, for example, who had always smelt of tobacco, though you could never see him smoke and would do anything, no questions asked, as long as the payment (always in the form of rum or gin) was fair. He hadn’t changed a bit, still looked like an old tortoise, just like always these past three decades since he’d entered the family’s service.

Unlike Maud, the housekeeper, who had aged considerably over the last ten years. Her hair was streaked so heavily with grey that the original black was hardly recognizable under her tight cap. Only her thin-lipped, stern expression reminded Beckett that this woman was indeed the terror of his childhood and the young boy buried in one of the dark corners of his soul was laughing triumphantly.

The others he didn’t know and had no whish to as long as they kept quiet and caused no disturbance as, of that he was sure, they had been instructed. He barely glanced at them before leading his wife inside, having more pressing matters to attend to than their household staff. It was brighter in the house than he remembered and for a moment he almost believed he could live here in peace but as soon as he crossed the door-step he could feel the chill of haunted moans creeping down his spine and the corners were just as dark as they had always been. His wife didn’t seem to notice, though. Prudence’s cat like eyes were scanning the large entrance hall eagerly, trying to take in the luscious décor all at once.

“I trust you had a pleasant journey.”

A dark shadow moved in one of the corners almost startling the couple.

“If you call seasickness pleasant,” the young woman instinctively flashed a smile at the stranger despite her husband’s warning look, pleased to see the man’s lips twitch in amusement.

“Is everything ready?” Beckett asked coldly, in a voice the other two knew well to only be reserved for serious business and their smiles vanished instantly.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“Tomorrow. Your men?”

“Will be here by noon.”

The dark haired man nodded and with a last calculating glance at Beckett’s wife, who quickly tried to hide her slightly confused look behind a confident smile, he turned to go. He stepped out into the hot air, letting the warm rays shower his tall body in a golden glow but his mind stayed with Lady Beckett for a second longer, knowing she would come after him.

“So you work for my husband?” He stifled a knowing smile as he stopped and turned back to the woman.

“With.”

“That’s not his custom,” she laughed lightly.

“It is mine.”

The warm Caribbean breeze gently caressed his dark locks, and danced in the dark fabric of his long black coat. A small, amused smile played in the corners of his lips as he looked in Prudence’s sparkling eyes.

“Bring a coat tomorrow. It’s going to rain.”

Let's Dance - Birthday Fanmix

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 02:53:58 GMT

I made a fanmix to remember my 23rd birthday by. In case anyone's interested, here's the list and the download link. As you will notice I may be a liiiiiiittle obsessed with The Boat That Rocked at the moment. :P

Download from Megaupload here

01. Let’s Dance (David Bowie)
02. My Generation (The Who)
03. For Your Love (The Yardbirds)
04. I Feel Free (Cream)
05. Dancing in The Street (Martha Reeves & The Vandellas)
06. These Arms of Mine (Otis Redding)
07. The Letter (The Boxtops)
08. Sunny Afternoon (The Kinks)
09. I Love to Boogie (T-Rex)
10. Lazy Sunday (Small Faces)
11. Elenore (The Turtles)
12. L’Amour a la Francaise (Les Fatals Picards)
13. Porsche szerelem (Alvin és a Mókusok)
14. So Damn Hot (OK Go)
15. Glittering Cloud (Imogen Heap)
16. Let’s Spend The Night Together (The Rolling Stones)
17. All Day And All The Night (The Kinks)
18. Térdelj Elém (Rómeó Vérzik)
19. Tigerlily (La Roux)
20. Nights In White Satin (The Moody Blues)

PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:01:49 GMT

*waves happily* Helloooooooooooo!

I must warn you, I'm ever so slightly giddy following a lovely day at university with my friends, a nice family celebration and gorgeous birthday fics to come home to. Cuddles to everyone who made this day so awesome!

And it's only just starting!

Molly has made us a lovely cake, have a slice, I can assure you it's delicious. Oh and there's cheese for Finn and Ditzy, so make sure to bring them along, Fred. :) The music is a tad bit eclectic, given that it has been put together by an 18th century musician, a 60s DJ, and a 21st century singer *giggles* but the surprises are half the fun.

So now to the games. I'd be more than willing (despite my better judgment) to play a tame version of Truth or Dare (which I always hated but kind of loved too). We'd keep the Truth part, lol, feel free to ask me any question about myself/my thoughts/and especially my characters. I will answer all questions truthfully tonight (there is one exception, I am keeping the right of not answering certain questions about Patrick MacHeath, my PotC OC).

Also, I'd love us to play games... you can suggest anything you can think of, or invite me (or anyone else lurking around) to card games for example here. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to play Poker or I'd suggest a tournament but I did try out Canasta and it was fun, if some of you know the game we could definitely do a tournament and the winner would get a fic/manip from me. *grins*

*puts party hat on* Let the fun start!!! :)

El Jay Birthday Party

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:33:59 GMT

*waves happily*
Hello all,
so guess what I'm old. This Friday I'm turning 23 and since there are so many people here on El Jay I like I thought I'd give the Birthday Party thing another go. So all you lovely people on my F-list are invited. Yay. Feel free to bring anyone you like, original characters or so-called real people.
Molly (my James Norrington's housekeeper) is cooking, the music is provided by Nigel (OC, James Murray) and 'Midnight' Mark (The Boat that Rocked) and who could be bored with Sam (Primeval OC, Keira Knightley) and Gabriel (POTC OC, Tom Sturridge) leading the way (I'm told lots of fun games await... should I be scared?)?
If I managed to creep you out, good for you, if not, then welcome to insanity and be my guest Friday, 8pm UK time at sunsetdawn20 .
Me and my OCs can't wait to see you there.
Love,
Kate

From Dusk to Dawn (trailer and prologue)

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:03:46 GMT

NEW WIP SERIES! From Dusk to Dawn
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Overall rating: NC-17
Summary: Lord Beckett and his wife travel to the Caribbean to deal with the pirate threat but this journey will change their lives and that of the people around them forever.

Note: This started as a universe with loosely connected fics based on prompts but has turned into a proper WIP series along the way. Some parts have already been posted but I will repost them too as they come in the series.
Disclaimer: Prudence Beckett belongs to greeneyespurple , Rose Gillette belongs to ophelivia . *huggles to both for letting me use and abuse their wonderful characters. Patrick MacHeath is mine, just like a handful of OCs that will occasionally pop up.

Prologue ~ Blades of Fate

The blinds were wide open, flooding the thoroughly aired rooms with thick Caribbean air and warm sunshine. Hot tea was boiling in the kitchen, the china was ready, the thin covers on he beds were already shivering with need. Lord Beckett’s mansion was ready to receive its new master for the first time in a decade.

It had been a long, lonely wait and the walls were trembling in anticipation, as if knowing there would be more secrets to hide and louder cries to muffle than ever before.

Meme Time

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:23:21 GMT

Pirated from bella_farfalla . Who is awesome and even got me a Patrick mood theme!!! *hugs*

1. Post a list of up to 20 books/movies/anime/TV shows/video games/bands that you've had an obsessive fannish love or interest in at some time in your life.

2. Have your f-list guess your favorite character/member from each item.

3. When someone guesses correctly, strike through the item and put the name of your favorite character next to it.

~~1. Pirates of the Caribbean (film)~~ ~ James Norrington
~~2. Primeval (TV)~~ ~ Helen Cutter
~~3. House M.D. (TV)~~ ~ Chase or House was actually the perfect answer lol I love them for different reasons
~~4. Moonlight (TV)~~ ~ Josef Kostan
~~5. Coupling (TV)~~ ~ Steve Taylor
6. Spooks (TV)
~~7. Hustle (TV)~~ ~ Mickey Bricks
~~8. The Boat that Rocked (film)~~ ~ Midnight Mark
~~9. The Talented Mr Ripley (film)~~ ~ Peter Smith-Kinsley
~~10. Repo: The Genetic Opera (film)~~ ~ Nathan Wallace
~~11. The Tudors (TV)~~ ~ Moore/Cromwell is definitely a pairing but yes, I'm Cromi all the way :)
~~12. Harry Potter (book)~~ ~ Draco Malfoy
13. State of Play (TV)
14. My Family (TV)
~~15. Charmed (TV)~~ ~ Cole Turner
~~16. A Streetcar Named Desire (Play)~~ ~ Blanche DuBois
17. Cutting it (TV)
18. Brokeback Mountain (film)
~~19. Master and Commander (film)~~ ~ Tom Pullings
~~20. Angels in America (TV)~~ ~ Joe Pitt *sobs*

It about how so...

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 22:42:09 GMT

Licking will get you a romantic pumpkin. *dances*

No, you're not supposed to understand, folks.

*hugs bella_farfalla *

Boots of Doom!

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:07:59 GMT

Ever wondered why I don't post every week about clothes or shoes I buy? Well, because I just don't buy stuff since I really HATE shopping. So what I do is, I don't plan, I just go into a shop on a whim and buy the first thing I like. Today, these gorgeous High Heeled Boots of Doom! *iz happy*

Meme Time

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:30:31 GMT

Shag, Snog, Marry or Throw off a cliff?
sammistarr ~~The Queen of Evil~~ gave me these for names:

Jack Davenport
Patrick MacHeath (my PotC OC)
Dr. Robert Chase (House MD)
Stephen Hart (Primeval)

*sobs*

Shag: Jack Davenport - those eyes and the voice and the floppy hair and the smile and just awww *swoons*
Snog: Dr Robert Chase - because he has a pretty mouth, as House points out in S2Ep1
Marry: Patrick MacHeath - this makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, it should be the other way round, Marry Jack and Shag Patrick bc Jack is most probably a wonderful husband and Patrick... well, he's Patrick... but I've lived with this man for over two years now, been through hell and heaven with him, and as pathetic as that might sound I want him to stay with me for the rest of my life
Throw off a cliff: Stephen Hart - bc I've done it in my fics (well, not the cliff part but the kill part) so I have proof it wouldn't kill me only break my heart

Comment here to receive 4 people of your own to shag, snog, marry, and throw off a cliff. :)

Spngs of Innocence and Experience (Carl/Mark)

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:50:07 GMT

Title: Songs of Innocence and Experience
Fandom: The Boat that Rocked
Pairing: Carl/Mark
Rating: R
Word Count: 100
Summary: It starts with silence.

Songs of Innocence and Experience

It starts with silence.

Words frozen before born by innocent eagerness and habit of experience. Hands speak the language of lust, tongues battle in mute need, and even when they come it’s not more than a surprised whimper muffled by the pillow and a low, silent groan against black hair.

Mark lights a cigarette as they lie in bed, sated and free, and instead of offering one to Carl he slips his own between the boy’s smiling lips. Wrapped in nothing but bitter smoke it seems so easy.

But there’s always another night, another room, another’s bed flooded with silence.

How about... what? (Twatt/Mark)

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:32:05 GMT

Title: How about... what?
Fandom: The Boat that Rocked
Pairing: Dominic Twatt/"Midnight" Mark
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 683
Summary: So what if it was Mark who found Twatt first on the boat before Quentin did? (Bc Jack Davenport is the best ever even when he's a Twatt *big grin*)

How about… what?

Getting onto the boat was surprisingly easy and Dominic Twatt congratulated himself on yet another brilliant plan. Much harder, actually, was to endure all that screaming and fainting of young, impressionable girls seduced off the right path by these pirates. He was more than sure, however, that his acting was quite remarkable indeed; one didn’t get on in his circles without a perfect poker face, after all. No one noticed his awkwardness among such loose morals and he had no difficulties sneaking off to inspect the boat, which, to his great relief, turned out to be in a rather catastrophic shape.

But suddenly he heard the sound of boots from behind. He whipped around, eyes wide, and he had the slight suspicion that maybe his poker face wasn’t quite as impeccable as he had thought, which just made the other man’s infinite calmness and self-confidence even more discomforting. He casually leaned against a pipe and didn’t take his eyes off Dominic for a second, he didn’t even blink, and Dominic was fairly sure that whoever this man was with his tight black leather trousers, his dark shirt, open just enough to reveal taunting pale smooth skin, he was the embodiment of all the vices the habitants of this boat were guilty of.

“I… I’m sorry, I… seem to have got… lost,” Dominic stuttered to break the silence that grew like weed between them. It sounded more like a question than an explanation but the strange man didn’t react in any way, he just kept his piercing gaze on Dominic through the curtain of his fringe. Dominic gulped.

“I… am a huge… fan?”

There was the tiniest hint of a smile on the other man’s face as he put a cigarette between his lips and lit it with a kind of sinful sensuality that Dominic has only seen in dark alleys after nightfall before and never in men. He suppressed the desire to gulp again, fearing the man might hear. His mind was racing, searching for things to say, or maybe a not too suspicious way of getting out of this awkward situation. But just when he was about to simply run for it, the other man took a long drag from his cigarette and covered Dominic in a lungful of bitter smoke as he spoke.

“So,” he waited for Dominic to stop coughing. “How about it then?”

“I beg your pardon?” Dominic narrowed his eyes in confusion as the man stepped ever so slightly closer.

“How about it?” The man repeated in a low, seductive voice that must have worked wonders on fainting, impressionable young girls, no doubt.

“H-how about what?”

The question seemed to be a rather effective way of smashing the half-God’s calm demeanour. He furrowed his eyebrows and cocked his head slightly, taken aback by the unexpected turn of events.

“Well… you know.”

But Dominic just kept looking at him with big green eyes so ominously empty of realization and quite obviously no wish to talk, rather happy with his first class imitation of a fish. But then, another minute of awkward silence and a casual shrug later, Dominic was being pulled against a lithe, firm body and his mouth was suddenly invaded by a hot, moist tongue that tasted of cigarettes and too much coffee. All Dominic could do was trying to keep breathing steadily as long fingers pushed under his cap and tangled in his dark hair, ruining the hard work of fixing the unwilling strands that morning.

As suddenly as the attack had come came the retreat and Dominic’s knees almost gave out under him as he was unexpectedly released. Dark eyes were watching him for a moment, then soft lips curved in a barely-there smile.

“Pity,” the man said, taking another drag from his cigarette and with only a hint of hesitation in his steps walked up the stairs. And that was that. No hand reached out to make him stay. There was no call to make him turn around.

But later that night, back home in his small apartment Dominic Twatt turned on the radio.

At Wit's End (Crossover Fic of Doom)

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:44:43 GMT

Title: At Wit's End
Fandoms: House MD, Harry Potter, PotC, Primeval
Characters (in order of appearance): Harry Potter(HP), Voldemort(HP), Danny Quinn(Primeval), Jack Sparrow(PotC), Cutler Beckett(POTC), House(House MD), Amber(House), Dave(Future Predator, Primeval)
Pairings: Quinn/Harry, Quinn/Voldemort, House/Wilson friendship mentioned
Rating: R
Word Count: 1.650
Warning: angsty crack!fic (yeah, I can do that)
Summary: Complete and utter insanity. What do fictional characters from 4 fandoms do if thrown together?

I blame curia_regis and bella_farfalla for this.

At Wit’s End

This was it. The moment they have all been waiting for. The moment he had been heading towards like an unstoppable train rushing into the unavoidable crash, tainted with a flash of green. The moment so many have died to make possible… Here he was, wand in a hand steadied by the dead, back straight, face determined, the green eyes of his mother burning a mark of their own into the murderer of his childhood. He was ready to raise his wand, utter the first curse that would come to mind, finish this once and for all even if he was to pay with his own life… but suddenly a white flash cut into the air between them and a round portal of fractured light appeared out of nowhere. Harry looked stunned at his nemesis who seemed just as shocked and indecisive – nice tyrant he’d make, Harry rolled his eyes.

“Blimey…,” a grinning man in muggle jeans and chequered shirt stepped through the light, looking around in amusement. He cocked his head slightly as his eyes settled on Harry.

“You don’t look like a hominid. Damn… it would have worked for MacGyver.”

“Who the hell are you?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, gripping his wand tighter.

“Oh sorry…” the man grinned at him, holding out his hand. “It’s Danny Quinn, Brain Surgeon, Rocket Scientist, Fuckin' Ninja…”

Long silence followed his words and blank looks of confusion from both Harry and Voldemort, who looked more like a kicked puppy, upset about being robbed of his grand moment, than a fearsome Dark Lord. Quinn rolled his eyes and shrugged.

“Ok technically, I’m an ex-cop. Right now I’m… well, no idea what my official title is… but I’m pretty sure I could pull off that walking on water thing any day…Wait a minute…” he suddenly narrowed his eyes. “You’re that bloke Connor was on about… the guy struck by lightning or whatever…”

“I… have a lightning-shaped scar…” Harry said, utterly confused.

“Yeah, that was it,” Quinn grinned.

“Enough,” Voldemort’s voice suddenly cut through the cold air. He came a few steps closer in what he hoped to be a threatening matter but Quinn was looking at him with mild interest at best.

“Soooo, he’s the monster?” Quinn looked at Harry. “Then you must be the damsel in distress, right? Fear not, dear lady…”

“WHAT?” Harry squeaked as Quinn pulled him in his arms and pressed a firm kiss on his lips, pushing his eager tongue inside the mouth hanging open in surprise.

“I…” Quinn cried in a low voice after pulling away. “Am your night in shining armour. And will protect you from this monster.”

And with that he threw himself at Voldemort, who had no time to raise his wand to defend himself from the attack. He was thrown to the ground by the weight of the man landing on him, punching his snakelike face over and over again. Voldemort tried to kick Quinn off himself but all he managed to do was make his robes slide up to his waist, revealing his pink Weasley is our King boxers. All Harry could do was stare in shock until someone stood beside him and in a calm, matter-of-fact voice asked:

“Should they be doin’ that?”

Harry turned to the dark-skinned, gold-toothed man, with dirty fingers and dancing hands. Before he could answer, though, another man stepped next to them, pale skinned, with a white wig and a cane that reminded Harry too much of Lucius Malfoy, and slight disgust written on his stoic face.

“This is madness.”

“It’s politics,” the other replied.

“It’s barbaric, Jack.”

“Whatever you say Cutty,” Jack grinned and sneakily slid his dancing hand over the smaller man’s backside.

“You shouldn’t be doing that,” an amused voice made all three of them avert their eyes from Quinn and Voldemort’s feral fight. The man standing behind them was wearing a crumpled shirt that made Beckett’s lips curl in disdain, and was leaning heavily on a cane that made Harry roll his eyes. What is this, a Cane-gathering?

“Have you never heard of sexual assault?” The man made a funny mock-shocked face that accentuated his big blue eyes. “Besides,” he suddenly slapped Jack’s wrist with his cane, making him wince and Beckett giggle, suddenly not caring about dignity at all. “Never pick on a man with a cane.”

He limped past Harry, Jack and Beckett, looking down at the fighting tangle of limbs. He made no attempt at stopping them but seemed to be deep in thought.

“What could cause sudden outbursts of rage, painfully cliché heroics,” he eyed Voldemort’s pink boxers “and a disastrous taste in underpants?”

“He’s a madman,” Harry cried out. “His mother was too, she gave a love potion to a muggle to make him fall in love with her.”

“No, this can’t be genetic… it would have killed him years ago. Besides, it wouldn’t affect all five of you,” the man explained, then seeing the three confused faces added: “Trust me, I’m a doctor.”

“So you, Mr. …”

“House. Or you can call me God. I go by both names.”

“So you, Mr. House, think we are sick?” Beckett’s lips curled into a small, disbelieving smile.

“First of all, put the cane down, that’s my privilege,” House said. “And actually, I think you are dying.”

House ignored the questioning looks and went back to watching Voldemort and Quinn throwing punches at each other. Then suddenly, for the briefest of seconds they stopped, looked at each other and Voldemort pulled Quinn down, crashing their lips together in a bruising kiss. He flipped Quinn over and deepened the kiss, grinning in victory as the man groaned into his mouth.

“Okay, people, we’ve got a new symptom, unstoppable lust.” He turned to Harry, Jack and Beckett and narrowed his eyes in concentration. “You,” he pointed at Beckett “you are going to be a small, snarky, boring, cold-hearted man, who cheated on his wife and is addicted to money.”

House looked at Jack. “You are a smoking hot bisexual who would do absolutely anybody in a failed attempt at finding meaning in life.” Jack grinned and slightly swayed his hips as he looked at the other two. “Oh, I like that.”

House finally looked at Harry. “And you are a geeky, superstitious, pretty annoying but also kind of clever boy whose parents have been killed in front of him.” And he turned away before he could see Harry’s lips start wobbling.

“5 people. Different periods, different lifestyles, so don’t even think of suggesting environmental causes. Murderous rage and hideous underpants (he pointed at Voldemort), complete nonexistence in a jumble of clichés (he pointed at Quinn), obsession and madness (he looked at Jack and Beckett, then turned to Harry) pretty much all of the above… and now unstoppable lust. Go.”

The others looked at him blankly, not sure what to do.

“Come on, give me something.”

“So you are saying,” Beckett crooked his eyebrow. “That even though our symptoms are different and we have nothing to do with each other, we are still dying from the same disease.”

House seemed to consider for a moment, then nodded. “Pretty much.”

“You are mad.”

House nodded again and narrowed his eyes as Voldemort hurriedly pulled down the zipper of Quinn’s jeans. “Yeah, it’s most likely neurological.”

They all fell in silence again, trying to block out the moans coming from Quinn and Voldemort.

“You really aren’t helping,” House cried out.

“What do ya want us to say?” Jack shrugged, flashing House a smile.

“Nothing,” House massaged his forehead, trying to chase away a headache, “just continue to look pretty in my private fantasy porn mov-“ he suddenly stopped, his eyes narrowed at first then widened a bit and a barely-there smile crept on his face. “It’s Hallucinatis Monstrosis Fuckmetis.”

He looked at Harry, Jack and Beckett, hoping for some cheering that he solved another case but they just kept looking at him like he was from another planet. He rolled his eyes and slowly, as if to small children, said:

“You. Are. Hallucinating.”

“All of us? The same thing?” Jack asked doubtful.

“You know, I liked you better when you didn’t say anything,” House said.

“He’s right,” Beckett said. “Isn’t it a bit farfetched that we’re all hallucinating the same thing at the same time? It would be much more likely that you are mad and are hallucinating all of us.”

“Yes. Much more likely. That’s why it cannot be the case.”

“Why not?” a female voice House knew all too well suddenly said. She was wearing a white doctor’s coat, blond hair framing her pale face, a devious smirk on her lips. She had an arm over a hideous grey monster with huge teeth, salivating all over her skirt. It had a red hat-like device on its head.

“Amber…” House whispered. No.

“Don’t you want to say hi to Dave?” she asked innocently, placing a soft kiss on the creature’s ugly head. Suddenly House realized that Quinn and Voldemort have stopped their moaning and cursing and were now approaching, Quinn pulling up his zipper, Voldemort still trying to rearrange his robes. Harry has raised his wand again, Beckett’s grip on his cane seemed tighter and Jack was looking at him with open hunger that strangely enough scared House more than the salivating creature’s lethal teeth.

House staggered back, lost his balance and fell on his back. The world went black for a second as pain shot through his leg but as soon as he hit the ground he forced his eyes open again, not wanting to be unprepared when the attack came. But as he looked up all he saw was a grey ceiling above grey walls.

Mayfield.

No fictional characters, no dead girlfriends of absent best friends, no monstrous nightmares closing in on him, and no hallucinating madmen apart from himself.

The Outsider (Prudence/Beckett, Rose/Beckett)

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:20:43 GMT

Title: The Outsider
Characters/Pairings: Prudence/Beckett, Rose/Beckett
Rating: mild R
Word Count: 100
Prompt: The Outsider at cutler_beckett
Summary: Prudence is jealous. Inspired by the weekly prompt and Vanessa Carlton's Rinse (yes, I did link you to my own age-old, not too good, Sparrabeth vid to that song *facepalm* *dies*)

Disclaimer: Prudence Beckett belongs to greeneyespurple . Rose Gillette belongs to ophelivia .

The Outsider

She screams, she begs, she plots, she breaks priceless objects, earning herself painful blows, she mars his skin with long fingernails, she smiles, she offers herself up, her naked skin shining in the moonlight like the embodiment of temptation, she clings, she pushes, she moans, and then she cries herself to sleep every single night.

She’s tried everything but he never stays, not really. He might be hers by right, but his insatiable lust always drives him back to the other. The scum. A vermin from the gutters.

And Prudence is slowly running out of merciful ways of striking back.

Cheat On Me...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:53:40 GMT

A day in the life of greeneyespurple (Maria) and sunsetdawn20 (Kate)

Warning: Brief mention of a major spoiler in House MD (The Tyrant)

Cheat on Me…

Kate: Ok so... um... I... I cheated on you. With House... um, Chase, actually... same difference... and I'm so so sorry... will you forgive me? *sobs* I downloaded this week's episode today and I wasn’t strong enough to resist the temptation…I would still love to watch it with you, though, if you want to…

Maria: I don’t know if I can, you broke my trust. He's prettier than me, that’s it isn’t it?

Kate: Well, actually... I think it's more the fact that he's just killed someone and I am an angst whore… See, twisted love. So all you have to do is kill someone... errr

Maria: *hangs head sadly*

Kate: You're too virtuous, I'm sorry

Maria: I understand *big sad puppy eyes*

Kate: *cuddles* *kisses* I'm sorry... *dramatic sigh*it wouldn't have worked between us... I don't deserve you... it's not you, it's me...

Maria: *shrugs softly* So you're going all Cameron on me...

Kate: Ok, now that's just... evil... do you really want to hurt me that much? I don't know who you are anymore... *faints theatrically*

Maria: Said the cheater…

Kate: So now you are punishing me? I know... I know... I deserve it.... *opens arms* shoot here, I'm ready to suffer my just punishment

Maria: No, nothing on this earth would sooth the pain I feel... the heart that is shattered by so selfish betrayal… Didn’t I give you all you desired?

Kate: It always takes two, though... I'm sure you did something to push me into cheating on you

Maria: Like what? Love you unconditionally?

Kate: But... yesterday for example... you weren’t there when I was in a bad mood, I needed you so much and you just weren’t there... I had to turn to Chase, so we could have a pity party together

Maria: So that I think about you all day doesn’t count? Laying awake dreaming of you, desiring you? That doesn’t count at all? I wasn’t here one day and you run into the arms of another. How much did I really mean to you then I wonder... instead of worrying about me, you fucked another....

Kate: Yes, brilliant, let's blame all of it on me, I'm such a cold-hearted bitch aren’t I? I was here for you, always... I made you a Prue love bar, I *loved* that woman like my own... that counts for nothing, doesn’t it? One slip is enough to condemn someone, isn’t it?

Maria: Are you talking about yourself? I wasn’t here one night and you cheated… It’s time to take a long look in the mirror, madam

Kate: And you? You dreamt of kissing Angelina Jolie, even your dreams want to cheat on me!

Maria: I didn’t tell you what happened after… but old fashioned courtship isn’t valued anymore. You write about sex everyday and now this... I... I don’t even know why I am putting up with this. Go to chase, see if he can love you like i can

Kate: You don’t understand! You... you have no idea how hard it is to... I have never desired a woman before, I am scared of this but I kept my feelings to me because I wanted us to work, I didn’t want you to feel insecure... but it scares me and... Chase... he has similar issues, he feels abandoned by House and well, he only married Cameron to hide that he's gay.. it's just... I didn’t want to bother you with all of this, I didn’t want to hurt you

Maria: Oh of course, lies hurt me less. Well if everything you said was a lie then I won’t burden you with it anymore and leave all this behind... just don’t think of me when you see his smile, don’t think of me when you lay in his arms like I held you..... don’t think about the fact that you are loving a lie…

Kate: It wasn’t a lie... I never lied to you about my feelings, I just... I needed some comfort and.... I know it's disgusting what I did, I hate myself for it but it showed me that no matter what I do it's still you I want to grow old with... I couldn’t live without you, please, please don’t push me away...

Maria: I didn’t push you away. you did it yourself

Kate: If I could turn back time and undo what I did, I would... I would do anything to make you forgive me, I can’t bear the thought of losing you... please, will you give me another chance? I swear I wont disappoint you again.

Maria: I don’t know if I can trust you again, you're obviously uncomfortable with being with a woman, I can change a lot Kate, but I can’t change that we live in this time, live in these bodies. If you loathe yourself for being with me and can bear to be without me, I'd rather have the latter, go find somebody new and maybe one day you can love yourself as I loved you

Kate: I didn’t loathe myself, or what we are, no, but it scared me, the intensity of my feelings for you scared me... but the possibility of losing you showed me that I cannot bear to be parted from you... I don’t care what the world says, let them talk, I realized that nothing matters but our love. and I firmly believe that I can make you trust me again, and our love will be even stronger and everybody will see that we are meant for each other

Maria: mkey

Kate: *pulls you into a passionate kiss* Maria, I swear I wont disappoint you... I will love you until the end of our days and even in death... I love you

Maria: Mmm, you are right *licks your lips* his semen is delicious, how generous of sharing your cum filled mouth with your true love, I'm surprised you haven’t died of a protein shock yet… You dont really think that everything is just okay now do you?

Kate: No, not yet, I know I deserve punishment *winks*

House Community

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 17:08:03 GMT

Hi all,

I created a House MD drabble community called housemd_100. If you like House and drabbles please please join the fun. :)

Thank you!!!

Kate

The Shape of Things to Come (30/?) ~ END OF PART1

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:26:29 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (30/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Olivia
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily!

END OF PART1! We're going on a short hiatus now but will be back before you start missing the story. :)

Previous Drabbles

The walk back seemed torturously long without fearful anticipation to occupy him. His body felt heavy, his mind wrapped in impenetrable fog, his heart drumming numbly. Too much had happened too quickly: his sudden redemption, an untimely promotion, the painful meeting with Theo, a deal he wasn’t sure he completely understood just yet.

The maid’s inquisitive presence only deepened his need for the burning liquid forbidden to him.

“Goodnight, Sir,” Olivia smiled as they reached the house, not knowing her warm eyes would haunt him all night.

A silent curse was all James allowed himself as he closed the door.

The Shape of Things to Come (28/?)

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:04:55 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (28/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Cutler Beckett
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily!

Previous Drabbles

Beckett’s hand on his shoulder felt like the materialisation of the heavy weight of all his guilt-ridden dreams, just punishment for the lives he’d taken and James couldn’t bring himself to shrug it off.

“And for that,” he cleared his throat to stifle the trembling, “I presume you want my loyalty to the East India Trading Company.”

The amused smirk that slowly spread on Beckett’s face sent a shiver of anticipation down James’ spine.

“No James,” Beckett stepped even closer, so close that James felt like drowning in the all-consuming grey of his eyes. “I want much more than that.”

The Shape of Things to Come (26/?)

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:36:27 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (26/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Cutler Beckett
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily!

Previous Drabbles

Hearing the almost conversational tone of the question for a moment James could delude himself into thinking Beckett might offer rather than order. Maybe he could live with that illusion, he thought. Pretence and obedience used to be his daily bread, maybe this wouldn’t be too different. Maybe forgiveness in brown eyes would be his payment for serving Beckett with body and blood.

Who’s tool are you? The question echoed in James’ head.

A stifled sigh and his mind was set as he finally made himself comfortable in the chair offered when he’d entered.

“That depends on what you’re offering.”

The Shape of Things to Come (24/?)

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 15:52:27 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (24/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Cutler Beckett
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily!

Previous Drabbles

Beckett’s words washed over James, licking his bruised soul with mocking tongues. But he didn’t need Beckett to tell him about his worthlessness, he’d learned that the day the Dauntless sunk, taking more of his men with her than James had nights to conjure up their faces in nightmarish visions. Sparrow, too, had been eager to remind him of the deaths he’d caused and James could never quite figure out if it was justice or cruelty that made the pirate’s voice hard and punishing.

“You and Sparrow are remarkably alike,” he whispered, not fearing consequences. He had nothing to lose.

The Shape of Things to Come (22/?)

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 21:38:32 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (22/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Cutler Beckett
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily! Don't kill me for being a day late, real life is a nuicance sometimes, sorry.

Previous Drabbles

“What was this? A test?” James couldn’t help asking, his anger still fuelled by bitterness. But Beckett just smirked.

“I don’t need to test you, James.” I know you. The unsaid words hung between them like a pointed sword.

“Then what?”

“Oh I trust your linguistic skills, James, I’m sure you’ll find the right name. Game, bargain, leverage...”

“Or blackmail?” James interrupted. “No. Blackmail is Sparrow’s territory, isn’t it?”

Beckett’s eyes hardened visibly.

“You are stepping out of your bounds, Admiral.”

“Two can play this game, my Lord,” James hissed, sounding braver than he actually felt.

“Indeed” Beckett smirked coldly.

The Shape of Things to Come (20/?)

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:22:13 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (20/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Cutler Beckett, Theo Groves
Pairings: Beckett/Groves
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily!

Previous Drabbles

James shut his eyes tightly, hating yet craving the way Theo’s kisses could still make him shiver, and for a moment he almost forgot where he was. But as the words slowly connected in his mist-covered brain and once their meaning finally sunk in James’ eyes flew open, intent on catching Theo’s thoughts through his brown eyes. It’s been too long since he’d seen them up close.

“Theo…” he whispered but Theo cut him off with a soft kiss, lips pressed against lips in need, chasing lost innocence.

“Tell me, James,” Beckett suddenly said, “does he still taste the same?”

The Shape of Things to Come (18/?)

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 09:16:49 GMT

Title: The Shape of Things to Come - (18/?)
Author: sunsetdawn20
Characters: James Norrington, Cutler Beckett, Theo Groves
Pairings: Beckett/Groves
Rating: PG
Word Count: 100
Author's note: Part of an ongoing drabble series with greeneyespurple - updated daily!

Previous Drabbles

Theo’s eyes closed in pure bliss and a soft moan was all the answer James got. When Beckett pulled away Theo whimpered silently at the loss of contact and Beckett reached out, brushing his fingers ever so slightly against Theo’s jaw. The lieutenant’s eyes fluttered close again as the hand suddenly wrapped around his neck and squeezed just a bit. James wanted to look away but found he couldn’t. How could a man enjoy humiliation so much?

“Can’t you see how much he craves this?” Beckett’s amused voice cut through James’ shock. “Don’t worry. You’ll learn to crave it too.”